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Jun. 5th, 2011

i have a job interview tomorrow. i'm not that excited about it. might be that the place is something like an hour away, and if it doesn't go well that's a whole afternoon wasted, and if it does then that straps me in for a whole bunch of changes. its not that I don't want to be off on my own, i'm just worried that nothing will really change even if i do. i'll still be a hermit, i'll still have no social life, and i still won't be getting anything done that i want to. the only thing that will change is that i won't have the family to come home to.

or maybe i'm just thinking that I'll get the job and it'll suck. and it'll just be another thing that I'll have to wriggle my way out of, but then i'll need it for health insurance and the rest of my bills.

i don't want to grow up. not in the "i don't want responsibilities" kind of way, but in the "i want to do want i want and get paid for it" kind of way. or is that the same thing? a girl can dream.

ah well, i've got some awesome cousins up in that direction anyway. i don't know why i'm overthinking things so much. i think my back just hurts so I'm grumpy. i've got an appointment with the chiropractor in the morning so hopefully that'll make me feel better. in the meantime, i need to find myself a tempurpedic mattress topper.