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oh, just another lonely night

sometimes i wonder if i should cancel my paid account on here, because with my lack of posting its not really worth it just to have so many icons. however, i'm scared of lj with ads. and the inability to edit comments. its not like i don't use lj, i'm on it everyday, but not so much as a writer. i'm becoming more and more like the common user nowadays who only joins for the communities. that's kind of scary.

so work has finally become more relaxed. i had two weeks of mandatory overtime, putting in 65 hours the first week, 50 the next. my paycheck was satisfying, though i am definitely looking forward to april when i get a lot of it back. now that the so-called "surge" is over, work is slow and we've been getting out early. they might even manage to undo all the overtime we did. word is that they'll keep us around until april, but you never know. and my coworkers are dropping like flies, finding other jobs or moving away. or just getting sick of it. i don't want to be the last one standing.

we are not a family that has much luck with cars. mom has had her new car for i think a couple months now, so she's happy. but dad's car broke down and as such he's been using mine. and now mine is finally breaking down for good. apparently the level of use i was putting it through - getting to and from work and the occasional trip to the gym or mall - was really all it could handle. on the way back from work today, the exhaust finally broke off from the front and starting dragging. a trip that usually takes us five minutes took us about 30 instead going about two miles an hour with the flashers on. so i'll be doing some car hunting, haven't decided whether i want a used college car, or a new car. i'm leaning towards the latter, not surprisingly, with everything our cars have put us through i would rather not have to worry so much about a car literally falling apart on me. my funds are in a good place now, my savings account has actually surpassed my tuition debt, but of course that's helped by not spending very much and still living at home. a new car would give me some credit, could start thinking about moving out. maybe even getting a credit card. look at me, growing up and all that jazz.

in the non-day-to-day goings, i downloaded the kanye west album, my beautiful dark twisted fantasy. not really what i was expecting. its good, but i figured it would be more, you know, dark and twisted. its got a surprising amount of bounce, and while not as synthy as 808s and heartbreaks, its still got that very old school beat to it, which is awesome. this album actually has an appeal similar to another album that i flipped out about recently, florence and the machines' lungs. they are both very loud and chorus heavy. its like the got everybody into the room had them sing as loud as possible, then layered some thick drum beats on top. the effect is really awesome. i love that kind of thing, i don't know if its everyone's cup of tea though. the different between the two albums though is of course that kanye west does rap, and as such the songs don't have the same kind of rise and fall as a typical melody does. that's something i never noticed about rap before. it also has a lot to do with how kanye west has getting increasingly more abstract. the average song is over 6 minutes long, and sometimes his voice just trails off halfway and he lets all his guest singers or the samples and beats take over.

all the hours spent at work has had me really starved of creativity. i've started entertaining the idea of getting up early before i have to start getting ready for work so i can write for a couple of hours, since my mind is a better place in the morning than it is in the evening after i come home. i've been thinking of reworking a story that i started over year ago. it was originally a horror story centered around the players involved, but i may go for a more crime procedural approach with a straightforward storyline, and then write it as abstractly as possible. i think i could get some good stuff done if i ever take the time to do it.